delightfully-bitchy: *whispers* Pomp and Circumstance *distant band kids screaming in pain*
teenwhoops: i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
high-as-a-cat: platypus-at-the-disco: masterhawki: mewtwowithaweave: cross-dressingsatanlobster: have you ever looked at someone who has kids and just thought they did the do when people announce they’re having a baby and just thinkg they did the do when people get married and go on a honeymoon they’re doing the do when people announce they’re trying for a baby they’re doing...
supermassiveasshole: when i was like 12 i used to hate one really bitchy and annoying girl from our class so i sent her a text “you will die in 7 days” during a class and she burst into tears and her mum went to police and i was so scared so i flushed my phone down the toilet
hungarian: tumblr has desensitized me to humor like i used to laugh at a lot more things but now everything seems old & i feel like i’m 57 yrs old
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so...– Alan Watts (via isolatedinhungerland)
clubbedsoda: “you’re denying it so it must be true!” NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER
finmeister: MY MOM JUST GOT OUT HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND FOUND OUT SHES BEEN SPELLING HER NAME WRONG FOR 49 YEARS
eyeslikecominghome: a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
babybehemoth: Anxiety attacks are the worst because sometimes you have no idea why you’re crying or angry and you just think of everything wrong in your life and you can’t control it all you can do is breath in and out and cry it out
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
scareeps: those booty shorts really bring out your personality
vivid-melodies: monicaa-so-mexican: vivid-melodies: injury-prone: vivid-melodies: brownie with ice cream on top is perfection. who wants to join me GURL. Warm chocolate chip waffles with ice cream on top. Lady, there are children in this site. Tag your food porn. ugh that sounds so good tho Churros and soft serve. Bueno bye. oh bby don’t get me started on churros
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
hannibalthecanibal: and here we have harry potter literally standing on a pile of letters to try and catch one that is still in the air. there are clearly reasons why he doesn’t get sorted into ravenclaw
theterriblechild: twinkxmonsoon: inthestateofdreaming: psychoticmusic: vuittonbrown: IMAGINE LADY GAGA AT THE PREMIERE OF MACHETE KILLS IMAGINE LADY GAGA GOING OUTSIDE IMAGINE LADY GAGA
jeanvaljeanralphio: The next time you feel down, just remember that Bruce Banner tried to kill himself and Tony Stark has anxiety attacks, and they’ve both saved the world. You will be okay.
It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re expected to get out of bed EVERY day
Reblog this if you've ever desperately, totally...
travellersinthisland: secretly-john-watson: the-fandoms-are-cool: thestupidsunflowerseed: captain-kirks-perfect-hair: I want to know that I’m not alone in this… Every single day every second of my waking life and every moment of my dreaming one 24/7 middle earth